Friend Xing

Today has been brought to you by the letters "W" "T" "F" and the number "0"
As in "Wtf why am I getting zero action?!"
This is the sentence uttered by the multitudes of those who have been friend zoned.
And don't deny it, I know you have been there too, why? Because everyone has.
The person you pine for is amazing, definitely has their flaws, but you are enchanted with them anyways. You watch them repeatedly fall for people who treat them like crap, you listen to them complain about it, hoping that maybe someday they will realize how amazing you are, and THEY NEVER FREAKING DO!
I reiterate my Letters of the day...
WHAT THE FRIGGING FUCK?!?!
Are these people blind?
What bothers me the most about this, is what if while you have been friend zoned, are you unknowingly friend zoning someone else? Is it a vicious cycle? Or is it a conscious action of "Yeah that person is nice and all, but I only dig assholes/bitches." Its mind boggling, especially when you and your 'buddy' are comfortable enough to do the whole friendly flirting thing, that just allows yourself to fool yourself into thinking maybe it will eventually lead into more, and it never fucking does.
They aren't even leading you on, your leading yourself on, and you can't fucking stop.
Its like CANCER!
Only Universal!
Fucking Plague!
Endemic... no PANdemic!
World-wide Stupidity!
PERPETUAL MASTUBATION!
Thats all it leads to.
But lets attempt to take a proactive approach to this...
If we harnessed the power of the Friend Zone we could have endless energy, self perpetuating energy! It would be Green! As green with envy as you are over your friend's latest and greatest in the stream of jerks they date! It would burn clean because your pride, dignity, and self-esteem produce no emissions! Well, other than bitterness, self-pity, and emo-whinery shenanigans.... But those can be used to stimulate the Economy... Imagine the effect that the rise in booze, ice cream, junk food, gym memberships, and self-help book purchases would have! Fuck the friendzome has the potential to fix our nation, but due to its nasty little accomplices resignation and apathy, its benefits will never be known outside of the hypothetical... Much like your romantic relationship with whoever it is you whine and pine about on 4chan!

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

Shut the Whiny Bitch Up With a Good Dose of Fuck Yeah!

You know that whole cliche about a depressed girl sitting in front of a sappy chick flick with a tub of Ben and Jerry's?
Yeah, I demolish that stereotype.
I suggest other girls do the same.

When you are feeling all girly-fucked over some asshole who dumped you with little to no reason, or your friends are all shitty-catty-bitches who don't give a shit unless they want something, if your feeling ugly and unwanted, or perhaps you have nothing to do on a Saturday night. Instead of heading over to Walmart for that pint of fat that goes to your waist and makes you feel worse and before you reach for that Jane Austen movie that makes you feel like you'll never get your Knight in Shining Armor...
Watch a Tarantino Film!
Guy Richie is a good direction as well.

There is nothing better than brutal violence, dark humor, and bad endings for everyone but the underdog to make you feel better!
Seriously! If your having issues with Catty back-stabbing friends, watch Reservoir Dogs! (Everybody dies brutally)
Need some girl power? Watch Smokin Aces! (Two hooker sisters kick some major ass)

You can just kick back, munch on something less fattening, and imagine that everybody who dies is someone you hate!
It will bring a feral grin to your face and turn your tears of self-pity to tears of joy as all the bad guys in a Guy Richie movie die and the poor suckers that nothing has gone right for end up on top!
Tarantino's dark sense of humor, and even darker messages, will lift you up into a cynical high that will allow you to do something down right snarky to those bitches faces! You will have a surge of pessimistic-deranged power to strike a trully crippling blow to that asshole that cheated on you!

Its fantastic!

And even if you don't suffer from any of the above, the movies those two guys produce are fan-fucking-tastic anyways! Great for movie nights with friends, or for snuggling up with that special someone (surprisingly). They are all-around damn fine movies. Albeit, they can be incredibly disturbing, but once you watch one or two of them, you get pretty desensitized to the whole "Holy Shit they accidentally blew his head off and the ensuing situation is Fucking Hilarious! Why the fuck is this funny?!?!" These movies totally bring out the 'cynic who laughs at everyone else's misfortune' in everyone!

Because I am Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

Yes It is That Time of Year

The Fucking Holidays have returned once again. So I figured I would write something of an attempt at being, snappy, witty, funny, with maybe a dash of snarkyness, and I will probably fail horribly.

Halloween:
Personally I really enjoy Halloween, and I wish it were longer than just one night. It is an excuse to dress up in skank-uh... I mean Snazzy, costumes, and take part in the many creative, and often wild revelries offered around the 31st of October in the U.S. Granted, once a month I dress up in corsets, panties, and fishnets to go gad about in a theatre filled with people in similar garb for Rocky Horror, but hey, more people participate in Halloween, so the more the merrier right? Right! Can you imagine if Halloween lasted a week? Drunken adventures in Haunted Houses, free candy and cookies instead of real food, wild hallucinations in Haunted Houses do to lack of proper nutrition and an excess of drugs and alcohol... Okay... Maybe it wouldn't be the BEST idea ever, but it would definitely be exciting.
However Halloween has its downsides, the stresses of coming up with a costume idea that does not cost an arm and a leg, the possibility of not finding anything exciting to do and getting stuck at home delegating candy outt o already hyper children as their parents grimace at the handful of sugary substances you shuck into the eager hands of said children, oh and lets not forget grossly obese women dressed in scraps of fabric that would barely cover the essential bits of a smaller figure and end up covering less than the rolls of nasty fat that hang about the woman's body, drugged out teenagers laughing at bathroom humor in the gargantuan lines outside all of the good Haunted Houses... There are most definitely downsides, but I think the perks still outweigh the negatives in comparison to the other holidays.

Thanksgiving (In the US):
Oh boy the food, food, food, and family. All I see is a grueling multiple day venture into the land of the domestic for a surprisingly small payout. Who wants to spend a week cleaning, decorating, and preparing food, for family you don't particularly want to spend time with, for one evening of feasting that leaves you sick to your stomach, tired, and with a kitchen full of dishes that require cleaning before the pie can be consumed.
I'm a bit jaded against this holiday because it falls so close to my birthday, and therefore any family coming to visit waits an extra week to give me my gifts. Which isn't much to complain about in comparison to my cousin, who gets jipped out of gifts because her birthday is exactly a month after mine and consequently five days before Christmas. Lucky Her.
Anyhow, I really don't like eating variations of leftover turkey for a week after thanksgiving either. Turkey soup, turkey pot pie, turkey salad, turkey sandwiches... I like a little more variety in my diet thank you very much.

Christmas:
Okay, this only applies if you are a follower of the Christian faith, or a member of the Commercial Faith, but hey whatever floats yer boat eh?
I really adore christmas trees, or I did until my brother developed an allergy to them and I can no longer enjoy the scent and feel of a dead tree sitting in the living room. Instead I get robbed of this pagan experience that originated in Germany and was invented by the Gauls (sp?), no I get a fake tree to decorate. The decorating part isn't too bad though, actually its one of the most cherished memories spent with my family. My other favorite thing? Cookies. I have massive amounts of fun baking mass amounts of cookies to give away. Lemon cookies, gingerbread cookies, pinwheel cookies, sugar cookies, shortbread cookies, lemon bars, pecan bites, peppermint-white chocolate biscotti, you name it I bake it, and more than one batch of each. However my waistline always complains at the extra five to ten pounds that miraculously appear along with the cookies...
But after all the Christmassy frivolities are over, there is the biggest let-down ever. It gets so hyped up that afterwards it is hard to figure out how you are going to go on with your life. You spend a week playing with all your new toys and nicknacks, watching your new movies, bragging about how fabulous your gifts were to your friends, and then there is nothing... Well except for my next bit...

New Year's Eve:
I really don't know what to say about this one, I've never really participated in any of the mainstream activities that surround this holiday. I've never made resolutions which promptly and conveniently get forgotten in the sea of instant gratification. I've never partied down, due to a protective mother who has lost friends to drunken driving on this most wild of evenings, so I don't blame her for asking me to stay home. I've never had a special somebody or stranger to mack on at midnight... I've always had my special brand of New Years Eve...
It involves potato chips and dip, soda and champaigne, board games, and heres the kicker... Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I spend a night geeking out with my D&D group, a bit upscale due to the sham-pag-ney and clam dip to go with our potato chips... But still a retardedly dorky way to spend the craziest party night of the year next to Halloween and St. Patrick's Day(I will save my rants on St. Patrick's Day, and Valentine's Day for the actual dates).
No wonder I've never had someone to messily makeout with on that night -insert suitably embarrased/self depreciating smiley emoticon here-
Oh wait, I do bang pots and pans at midnight, for the pure joy of irritating everyone in the neighborhood... That is until the rednecks pull their guns out and start firing into the night... Then I generally go inside.

Easter:
I don't really have anything bad to say about this. Decorating eggs? FUN! I make zombie eggs, and pretty eggs, and normal eggs, and WTF?! Eggs, eggs that look at you in horror, eggs that smile, eggs that say strange things, eggs that inspire. Its awesome. Plus I get chocolate and Jelly Beans, and I get to spend time with the part of my family I actually enjoy spending time with. The only downside? Church...
Nothing more stressful than trying to find something 'nice' to wear, so that I can go be gawked at by people who automatically assume I'm a nympho drug addict who participates in satanic orgies while drinking the blood of infants and virgins. All because my hair isn't 'the norm', I have facial piercings, and I sometimes dig taking part in a clam and melon feast... Judgemental fuckers... I only drink the blood of infants, So ignorant.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

I Point at 50% of the Male Population When I Say This

Keep your hands off my tits!

When I cuddle with a guy, I do NOT appreciate it when that cute moment of physical contact, that isn't quite emotional but isn't completely free of sexual tension, is RUINED by some guy pawing around my chest or lady-bits.
That is not what cuddling or snuggling time is for.
So take a step back, and breathe deeply, the odds are that if I'm cuddling with you eventually I'm going to roll over/turn around/tilt my head back/inch closer for a kiss, and that my friend will generally be the sign that your hands may begin roaming.
Sheesh.
Patience is a virtue.

Oh and while I'm on the subject of giving guys(or girls) advice on what a girl wants...
If you are going to insist on talking during sex, which sometimes isn't a bad thing, PLEASE do not talk "dirty" in the sense that you sound like you are making an intimate session into your own personal porn flick.
Ew.
Its gross.
Learn how to say tantalizing tidbits that really will make a girl want to jump you, instead of that nasty-ass, poorly written, crap that porn uses as an excuse for a script.
Total Turn Off.

And if a girl says she likes it "rough" that does not mean just harder and faster.
It means ROUGH.
As in, pin her down and put that testosterone induced aggression you all seem so intent on displaying when you hit your friends in front of us to look more manly, to good use!
And no, rough sex does not equate to bondage, and bondage does not equate to S&M. They are three separate, very different, things and should be treated as such.

Anyhow... save free roaming hands for when they are invited.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

Its Been a While

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Serious Face

No seriously, pull on your serious faces and your thinking caps cuz I'm being... Serious?

I was having a discussion on the topics of various religions and clutures compared to others, and the subject of India's values system versus the Extreme Westernization of the U.S.
Third World Country v. Major World Power
Which is better?
I don't think either.
While I totally think that the quality of life is better in the U.S., unfortunately I believe our value system is just as degrading and backwards as that of a third world country, in some ways I believe it to be worse.
In a third world country the major motive behind anything is basic survival, in the good ole United States I believe it has become not a struggle for survival, but a struggle of pointing the finger at someone else.
My proof? Well, how many papers do you have to sign to prove a company isn't liable for some injury received on their watch? In any crime, everyone puts on an act to make it look like they had no control over what they did. Why does everyone hire a lawyer to make sure something is not their responsibility? In third world countries people do not have the resources to waste their time over silly blame games. They struggle on a daily basis for food, shelter, and whatever else they may or may not be able to scrounge, everything else is secondary at best.
Now as to how people are treated? Again the quality of life is better in the U.S. but are we morally any better?
In India women are still bought and sold like cattle. They are property, objects for male use and sometimes appreciation. Yes in the U.S. women are no longer property, and yet in our over-sexed society, we dress our women up like whores and send them out in the world to be used and thrown away. Which form of objectification is better? At least in India women have a monetary value, meaning they are worth something, whereas in the U.S. women are still objects, but of no value....
How strange that in a society where everyone is supposedly equal, one group is viewed as practically worthless, does this mean that everyone is worthless?

I don't mean to rag on U.S. society. I really appreciate living in the country that I do, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I was born into such a land of plenty. I am only trying to prove a point on ethnocentrism.
No one culture is superior, all have their equal faults, and it is folly to look down upon another's beliefs while not questioning your own. Every society has its ugly truths, and no one has the right to judge another, because no one is perfect.

Anyhow... That was my serious rant, you can all level up now.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

Greatest Discovery EVAR!

I can drink the milk straight from the carton/jug if I so choose.
Being on one's own is the shit.
I can come and go as a please, I can have my friends come and go as I please as well as long as its respectful of my roomies.
And I can drink the frigging milk straight from the source.
It really just doesn't get any better than that.
There is something disgustingly pleasing about being so unrefined and lazy as to not use a glass.
And I love the fact that Its MY milk that I BOUGHT with MY MONEY.
Everything is MINE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I has propertiez bitches.
Yeah, owning stuff is pretty much the shit.
The downfalls however...
Having to do laundry.
Having to make dinner EVERY night... Well except when I decide that having peanutbutter on bread is a good enough solution to my hunger issues... Which is why I now religiously take a multivitamin EVERY DAY. Yay for young broke person mentality.
I forget to eat and go to sleep... Who would have though biological necessities could be forgotten...
I never have money, because it all goes to rent, gas, and groceries...
Fun stuff...

But its all worth it in the end when I get to make my roomies completely disappear by having someone come over at nearly one in the morning.... Mwuhahahahahahahahahahaha.

I love being on my own...
And yet hate it with a passion.
But I get to drink the milk from the jug.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

We're Not Sluts, but Lets Be BeneFriends.

Earth to people, being friends with benefits is gross, and quite frankly, slutty.
I would rather not use my friends for sex, thank you very much.
Yeah, I don't dig on the whole benefriends deal, it bothers me.
I mean, do people USE their brains when they consider this concept as an actual possibility?
Yeah, lets be bestest buddies, but use each other, all the while not having any true commitment.
Sounds like a recipe for emotion disaster on someone's side.
Not to mention how often it occurs between exes, which REALLY bothers me, because that is just blatant disrespect.
Yeah, I broke up with you because we weren't good for each other, but can we still fuck?
Yeah, Fuck YOU!
Hahahahahahahahaha
Its just a really disturbing thought to me, somehow a one night stand seems to be more, ethical(?) than being friends with benefits. At least in that case it is a mutual need for sex in which btoh parties are consenting in being used, there is no confusion as to commitment, and while yes I believe it damages both parties, it still seems like a better option than letting your buddy use you.
Because with benefriends, someone is going to get hurt, there is usually the hope on one side it will lead to something more, and the other side is usually out there screwing other people, putting their "benefriend" at risk.
There is also the disrespect for one of the parties, because whoever brought it up obviously does not have enough respect for the person to actually commit, for some reason, but still wants to have all the "Benefits."
Its just Fuck-Tarded.
I would take commitment any day over this sack of bullshit.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

I really Wish I Had Some Tequila for My Limeade

Nah, Limeade is the shit without alcohol.

Fuck this.
I was gonna make an entry, and then I lost the motivation.
How Anti-Climatic.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

My Mother Reads My Blog

Out of all the people in the world who could read my blog, who does it on a regular basis?
My Mother...
She has it bookmarked as a matter of fact...
She was sneaky and didn't "Follow" it...
Stalker!
Lollerz.
So I came to this discovery at the Dinner table with my family last night.
Yes, my mother dropped that bomb on me with everyone in earshot.
At least she didn't really discuss the content....
Freaky Fetish Toy Websites?
Yeah, totally dinner table conversation material.
Its a good thing I'm not blogging about my heroine addiction, and the fact that I am Elvis.
Only the weird crap I decide to hurl up in the form of somewhat functional sentences.
Well...
She was bound to discover at some point in time that I'm a freaking retarded dork with a guttermind...
Wonder where I got it from...

Because I am Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

If My Superpower Was Keeping My Legs together, the World Would Be Fucked

Hahahaha
Pun Totally Intended...
And no, I wasn't actually referring to myself...
I'm not that easy.


I was pondering the sayings "Letting your nickers down" and "Keeping your legs together"
And their complete outdatedness...
Panties aren't a problem when they are crotchless, and there is enough porn in the world to provide evidence that sexual intercourse is most definitely possible without a girls legs being spread.
WTF has the world come to when we can't even make up new sayings that are actually applicable to telling kids not to be easy?!
All that we can say these days is "Be Safe, use protection"
Cuz we all know how effective saying "Abstinence Only" was...
Look at the oral STD rates in teens following that whole shindig.
Yeah, we traded being knowledgeable about our bodies for needing to wonder if you were safe kissing that guy at the party the other night.
SO yeah...
My solution to preventing guys and girls from being sluts...
Make sex toys legal for teens to buy.
Yup, who is gonna go through the effort of trying to seduce someone as hormonally confused as you, when Mr./Mrs. Pocket Rocket only needs some batteries?
Alright... Maybe not realistic... but Probably more effective than telling a girl to keep her knees together and not to Pull Her Panties down...
Its easier to just push them out of the way anyways...

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.

Don't Worry, I'm Here to Suck Your Face, Not Your Veins!

I blame Anne Rice for today's Twilight mania.
I don't have anything against Anne Rice, I actually really dig her writing....
Well, some of it, after the first few books in the Vampire Chronicles, eh... but the Mayfair Witches are badass, and I adore Ramses the Damned... but I digress.

ITS ALL HER FRIGGING FAULT!

Unknowingly, she created a monster.
The Romanticized Vampire.
A creature who lusts after your throat and the artery contained within it, all the while tormented by their evil insides...
It started with Louis...
Always Whining Louis!
With his underage lover, vanity, and trying not to be evil by eating animals rather than people.
Sound Familiar.
Yeah Stephanie Meyer pretty much just copy and pasted Louis, changed the name, made him even more broody and less cool, and renamed him Edward.
But aside and apart from the obvious character copying, Anne Rice provided other aide to the Accursed Twilight Phenomena.
Buffy.
Thats right, our favorite, vampire slaying, vampire loving, heroine of the nineties.
Without Anne Rice Buffy would never have come about.
Buffy takes one instance from Interview with the Vampire, where Louis stalks Babette, and turns it into a love story between Buffy and her various Vampiric Paramours.
Angel stalked Buffy for forever, and guess what, it turned into true love.
Spike, also a stalker, did pretty much the same thing only to get used and abused.
I'm not raggin on Buffy though, I mean, If I could get vamps as hot as Spike and Angel, you would certainly never see me by light of day, if you catch my drift...

So this whole Twilight thing comes from Anne Rice.
Its all her fault, even though she never meant any harm by writing the most amazing vampire books ever... She didn't know that someday they would be tortured, and mutilated into some Preteen Wet Dream about vampire stalkers...
Who, by the way are emotionally abusive.
Edward completely isolates Bella from everyone she cares about her, classic red flag of an abusive personality. He then, leaves her, "for her own good" and then comes back so that she will love him even more, another classic trait of abusiveness. Edward chooses who Bella can be friends with, which are only his friends, tells her what she should and should not wear, as well as refuses to let her transport herself anywhere so that he "Knows she is safe" when really he just wants to know where she is 24/7. He watches her even in her sleep for crying out loud!
What a controlling Bastard!!!
This shit teaches women and girls, that its okay to let your man control everything in your life, its all fine and dandy as long as hes sucking your face instead of your veins...
Fucking Twilight...
Damn Anne Rice and her Awesomeness for allowing this!

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

The Hat of Events

Sounds like something that would either belong in D&D or Harry Potter, right?
Well you would be wrong.
And no, that does not mean its from something equally geeky.
(Then again... It is from a part of my life...)
Its frigging REAL!!!!!
And belongs to a very special friend of mine.

It seems to the average onlooker, who knows nothing of its mystical powers, to be just a hat!
However, strange occurrences seem to revolve around this wondrous hat.
Like when I tackled/jumped the owner of The Hat and he fell on me and had to take me to the ER my ankle was so badly injured...
Anyhow the gist of this whole deal is that this Hat weaves the forces of the Universe together in such a way as to set events in motion that may not have occurred if it were not for this Hat.

I think I will make it into a D&D Item though...

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

The Internet Never Ceases to Bewilder Me

Yup, never does.
I cannot believe the kind of shit you can find.
Okay, so I find things like LOLcats kind of strange anyways, but I've stumbled across stuff like a Blow-up Seal Fetish website while doing research on seal clubbing for a class, and someone recently sent me a link to This Freaky Website.
All it made me think of was this scenario:
You're friend is over for a few drinks and after a while, you realize your friend is picking something up, you turn around just as they start to speak
"Why the fuck do you have a dragon/alien dildo sitting on the counter"

Yeah, what the fuck would you say to that? "I dig pretending to screw dragon/alien combos, it turns me on?"
How fucking weird...

I also like skimming through the "Casual Encounters" section of craigslist....
It kills me to see all the blatant adds for various types of sex.
"m4m" "Bisexual Girl WANTED" "DOM looking for Pain Slut"
I mean.. WTF?
Its called not being a creep, and meeting people IRL!
People have beein getting laid without the help of craigslist for a very long time thank you very much...
Then again, maybe I should be thankful they can't get laid.
Wouldn't want those genes swimming about in the pool.

Lets see, what else is on the internet that just astounds me...
Oh...
Well this astonished me in a good way.
I could watch it for hours!
I was very impressed as I watched it and it slowly dawned on me how complex the whole thing is. At first it just seems like a series of images, but then you realize it is made completely out of sounds from the movie and the images are all synchronized... Yes, I love it...
I also love the following Band/Song/Video.
My Device is the Shit.
Because I'm Bored and I Can. Thats Why.

Dreamz

Yes I am posting for the fourth time in one Day.
This would be why I NEEDED to have a blog in the first place, a lot goes on in this brain, and I feel the need to verbally vomit it all up all over the internet.
I have, the strangest fucking dreams...
Like, other people describe their dreams, and it makes me wonder what the fuck kind of psycho am I to be dreaming about that!?

It really makes me wonder, if everyone else is just saying that they have these really bland dreams to cover up for their demented dreamscapes, and I'm the only one being honest about where my psyche takes me in my sleep.
And I don't believe that all these people just "Can't Remember" their dreams... I can't imagine that, because I remember mine so vividly, I have to remind myself that it didn't happen.

Am I the only one who wonders this? Does everyone else secretly wonder if they are the only ones with some Crazy-Ass Dimension of Weirdness hidden in their sleeping minds while they give the old song and dance routine of "My dreams are boring" or "I don't remember my dreams."

Anyhow.
Psycho-Strange Dreams=Verbal Vomit.

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.

Like, Love, and Lust.

Okay so I was ranting to someone recently about the misconceptions people have about "Liking" someone and "Loving" someone.
Apparently some people believe that in order to "Like" someone means it has no "Lust" [aka hormones] involved.
Well Earth to People!
You cannot want to develop anything but a completely PLUTONIC [Read:just friends] relationship with someone unless there is LUST [hormones] involved. There has to be that PHYSICAL attraction as well, otherwise you are going to end up married to someone you don't want to have marital interactions with [SEX].
However, I think you SHOULD know someone before you decide to make with the Lovey Dovey shit...
Its is waaaaay easier to pull a relationship out of a friendship with some hormones added, than trying to pull together a relationship out of JUST hormones.
You have to have a certain amount of interest in a person, not just in their body, in order to build that AMAZING connection.
But you just don't wake up in the morning and Decide you're in Love. There are stages... Like the "I'm mildly interested in what this person is saying" Stage, and then the "OMG I NEED TO JUMP THEIR BONES" stage, and then the mix of the frist two which ends up being the "Lets get some coffee, fuck, and then have deep conversations in bed" stage, and finally "I really dig this guy/girl, LETS GET MARRIED" stage...
All of which is followed by a whole different set of degrees of Love... its the getting there part that I'm focusing on today though. (I feel the need to state, that no I do not believe sex before marriage is always right for people and actually I really respect people who wait for marriage, but DAMN its hard to resist.) Anyhow....

In short...
Hormones are a necessary part of a relationship, don't be scared of physical attraction, its natural, its normal, and you can't have Love without Lust.
Well... you can...
It would just be that "I love you like I love my mother" kind of thing...
And I think we can all agree that that would just be weird.

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.

My Mind Cartoonified.

Yeah, my friend introduced me to this amazing website...
The Greatest Shit to Hit The Interwebz
Its a bunch of cartoons(comics).
Only I swear to God someone is selling conversations I have with people and selling them to the creator of this fabulous webcomic.
I will admit, I don't get all of them, because some of them are very math based, and I'm not afraid to admit I'm not the world's greatest mathematician.
But for the most part, these speak to me, deep down, in that dark place where my soul resides.
And now... for my favorite pick of the bunch. Because I'm Bored and I Can. Thats Why.

Hello and Good Day

So I am making with the Postiness in my first blog.
I can't really tell you what to expect, because I could set you up with some false expectations, and then you would be left sorely disappointed and I would lose all my chances of having anybody ever reading the bullshit I am most likely to post.
Shit, I did it, now you know its all going to be random crap. Well, maybe it won't be...
Just don't expect any rhyme or reason to this madness that will be my blog.
I've never done this kinda thing before, y'know?
So its all new.
And just so you know, if you are actually somewhere in the world reading this, well, you have defied MY expectations of this just ending up as me pouring a load of time and effort I don't have to spare, into something no one will ever read.

Anyhow.
I guess I need a tag-line now...
You know, some sort of catch phrase...
Here we go...

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.