Thursday, October 21, 2010

I Point at 50% of the Male Population When I Say This

Keep your hands off my tits!

When I cuddle with a guy, I do NOT appreciate it when that cute moment of physical contact, that isn't quite emotional but isn't completely free of sexual tension, is RUINED by some guy pawing around my chest or lady-bits.
That is not what cuddling or snuggling time is for.
So take a step back, and breathe deeply, the odds are that if I'm cuddling with you eventually I'm going to roll over/turn around/tilt my head back/inch closer for a kiss, and that my friend will generally be the sign that your hands may begin roaming.
Sheesh.
Patience is a virtue.

Oh and while I'm on the subject of giving guys(or girls) advice on what a girl wants...
If you are going to insist on talking during sex, which sometimes isn't a bad thing, PLEASE do not talk "dirty" in the sense that you sound like you are making an intimate session into your own personal porn flick.
Ew.
Its gross.
Learn how to say tantalizing tidbits that really will make a girl want to jump you, instead of that nasty-ass, poorly written, crap that porn uses as an excuse for a script.
Total Turn Off.

And if a girl says she likes it "rough" that does not mean just harder and faster.
It means ROUGH.
As in, pin her down and put that testosterone induced aggression you all seem so intent on displaying when you hit your friends in front of us to look more manly, to good use!
And no, rough sex does not equate to bondage, and bondage does not equate to S&M. They are three separate, very different, things and should be treated as such.

Anyhow... save free roaming hands for when they are invited.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

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