Greatest Discovery EVAR!

I can drink the milk straight from the carton/jug if I so choose.
Being on one's own is the shit.
I can come and go as a please, I can have my friends come and go as I please as well as long as its respectful of my roomies.
And I can drink the frigging milk straight from the source.
It really just doesn't get any better than that.
There is something disgustingly pleasing about being so unrefined and lazy as to not use a glass.
And I love the fact that Its MY milk that I BOUGHT with MY MONEY.
Everything is MINE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I has propertiez bitches.
Yeah, owning stuff is pretty much the shit.
The downfalls however...
Having to do laundry.
Having to make dinner EVERY night... Well except when I decide that having peanutbutter on bread is a good enough solution to my hunger issues... Which is why I now religiously take a multivitamin EVERY DAY. Yay for young broke person mentality.
I forget to eat and go to sleep... Who would have though biological necessities could be forgotten...
I never have money, because it all goes to rent, gas, and groceries...
Fun stuff...

But its all worth it in the end when I get to make my roomies completely disappear by having someone come over at nearly one in the morning.... Mwuhahahahahahahahahahaha.

I love being on my own...
And yet hate it with a passion.
But I get to drink the milk from the jug.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

We're Not Sluts, but Lets Be BeneFriends.

Earth to people, being friends with benefits is gross, and quite frankly, slutty.
I would rather not use my friends for sex, thank you very much.
Yeah, I don't dig on the whole benefriends deal, it bothers me.
I mean, do people USE their brains when they consider this concept as an actual possibility?
Yeah, lets be bestest buddies, but use each other, all the while not having any true commitment.
Sounds like a recipe for emotion disaster on someone's side.
Not to mention how often it occurs between exes, which REALLY bothers me, because that is just blatant disrespect.
Yeah, I broke up with you because we weren't good for each other, but can we still fuck?
Yeah, Fuck YOU!
Hahahahahahahahaha
Its just a really disturbing thought to me, somehow a one night stand seems to be more, ethical(?) than being friends with benefits. At least in that case it is a mutual need for sex in which btoh parties are consenting in being used, there is no confusion as to commitment, and while yes I believe it damages both parties, it still seems like a better option than letting your buddy use you.
Because with benefriends, someone is going to get hurt, there is usually the hope on one side it will lead to something more, and the other side is usually out there screwing other people, putting their "benefriend" at risk.
There is also the disrespect for one of the parties, because whoever brought it up obviously does not have enough respect for the person to actually commit, for some reason, but still wants to have all the "Benefits."
Its just Fuck-Tarded.
I would take commitment any day over this sack of bullshit.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

I really Wish I Had Some Tequila for My Limeade

Nah, Limeade is the shit without alcohol.

Fuck this.
I was gonna make an entry, and then I lost the motivation.
How Anti-Climatic.

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

My Mother Reads My Blog

Out of all the people in the world who could read my blog, who does it on a regular basis?
My Mother...
She has it bookmarked as a matter of fact...
She was sneaky and didn't "Follow" it...
Stalker!
Lollerz.
So I came to this discovery at the Dinner table with my family last night.
Yes, my mother dropped that bomb on me with everyone in earshot.
At least she didn't really discuss the content....
Freaky Fetish Toy Websites?
Yeah, totally dinner table conversation material.
Its a good thing I'm not blogging about my heroine addiction, and the fact that I am Elvis.
Only the weird crap I decide to hurl up in the form of somewhat functional sentences.
Well...
She was bound to discover at some point in time that I'm a freaking retarded dork with a guttermind...
Wonder where I got it from...

Because I am Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

If My Superpower Was Keeping My Legs together, the World Would Be Fucked

Hahahaha
Pun Totally Intended...
And no, I wasn't actually referring to myself...
I'm not that easy.


I was pondering the sayings "Letting your nickers down" and "Keeping your legs together"
And their complete outdatedness...
Panties aren't a problem when they are crotchless, and there is enough porn in the world to provide evidence that sexual intercourse is most definitely possible without a girls legs being spread.
WTF has the world come to when we can't even make up new sayings that are actually applicable to telling kids not to be easy?!
All that we can say these days is "Be Safe, use protection"
Cuz we all know how effective saying "Abstinence Only" was...
Look at the oral STD rates in teens following that whole shindig.
Yeah, we traded being knowledgeable about our bodies for needing to wonder if you were safe kissing that guy at the party the other night.
SO yeah...
My solution to preventing guys and girls from being sluts...
Make sex toys legal for teens to buy.
Yup, who is gonna go through the effort of trying to seduce someone as hormonally confused as you, when Mr./Mrs. Pocket Rocket only needs some batteries?
Alright... Maybe not realistic... but Probably more effective than telling a girl to keep her knees together and not to Pull Her Panties down...
Its easier to just push them out of the way anyways...

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.

Don't Worry, I'm Here to Suck Your Face, Not Your Veins!

I blame Anne Rice for today's Twilight mania.
I don't have anything against Anne Rice, I actually really dig her writing....
Well, some of it, after the first few books in the Vampire Chronicles, eh... but the Mayfair Witches are badass, and I adore Ramses the Damned... but I digress.

ITS ALL HER FRIGGING FAULT!

Unknowingly, she created a monster.
The Romanticized Vampire.
A creature who lusts after your throat and the artery contained within it, all the while tormented by their evil insides...
It started with Louis...
Always Whining Louis!
With his underage lover, vanity, and trying not to be evil by eating animals rather than people.
Sound Familiar.
Yeah Stephanie Meyer pretty much just copy and pasted Louis, changed the name, made him even more broody and less cool, and renamed him Edward.
But aside and apart from the obvious character copying, Anne Rice provided other aide to the Accursed Twilight Phenomena.
Buffy.
Thats right, our favorite, vampire slaying, vampire loving, heroine of the nineties.
Without Anne Rice Buffy would never have come about.
Buffy takes one instance from Interview with the Vampire, where Louis stalks Babette, and turns it into a love story between Buffy and her various Vampiric Paramours.
Angel stalked Buffy for forever, and guess what, it turned into true love.
Spike, also a stalker, did pretty much the same thing only to get used and abused.
I'm not raggin on Buffy though, I mean, If I could get vamps as hot as Spike and Angel, you would certainly never see me by light of day, if you catch my drift...

So this whole Twilight thing comes from Anne Rice.
Its all her fault, even though she never meant any harm by writing the most amazing vampire books ever... She didn't know that someday they would be tortured, and mutilated into some Preteen Wet Dream about vampire stalkers...
Who, by the way are emotionally abusive.
Edward completely isolates Bella from everyone she cares about her, classic red flag of an abusive personality. He then, leaves her, "for her own good" and then comes back so that she will love him even more, another classic trait of abusiveness. Edward chooses who Bella can be friends with, which are only his friends, tells her what she should and should not wear, as well as refuses to let her transport herself anywhere so that he "Knows she is safe" when really he just wants to know where she is 24/7. He watches her even in her sleep for crying out loud!
What a controlling Bastard!!!
This shit teaches women and girls, that its okay to let your man control everything in your life, its all fine and dandy as long as hes sucking your face instead of your veins...
Fucking Twilight...
Damn Anne Rice and her Awesomeness for allowing this!

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

The Hat of Events

Sounds like something that would either belong in D&D or Harry Potter, right?
Well you would be wrong.
And no, that does not mean its from something equally geeky.
(Then again... It is from a part of my life...)
Its frigging REAL!!!!!
And belongs to a very special friend of mine.

It seems to the average onlooker, who knows nothing of its mystical powers, to be just a hat!
However, strange occurrences seem to revolve around this wondrous hat.
Like when I tackled/jumped the owner of The Hat and he fell on me and had to take me to the ER my ankle was so badly injured...
Anyhow the gist of this whole deal is that this Hat weaves the forces of the Universe together in such a way as to set events in motion that may not have occurred if it were not for this Hat.

I think I will make it into a D&D Item though...

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.

The Internet Never Ceases to Bewilder Me

Yup, never does.
I cannot believe the kind of shit you can find.
Okay, so I find things like LOLcats kind of strange anyways, but I've stumbled across stuff like a Blow-up Seal Fetish website while doing research on seal clubbing for a class, and someone recently sent me a link to This Freaky Website.
All it made me think of was this scenario:
You're friend is over for a few drinks and after a while, you realize your friend is picking something up, you turn around just as they start to speak
"Why the fuck do you have a dragon/alien dildo sitting on the counter"

Yeah, what the fuck would you say to that? "I dig pretending to screw dragon/alien combos, it turns me on?"
How fucking weird...

I also like skimming through the "Casual Encounters" section of craigslist....
It kills me to see all the blatant adds for various types of sex.
"m4m" "Bisexual Girl WANTED" "DOM looking for Pain Slut"
I mean.. WTF?
Its called not being a creep, and meeting people IRL!
People have beein getting laid without the help of craigslist for a very long time thank you very much...
Then again, maybe I should be thankful they can't get laid.
Wouldn't want those genes swimming about in the pool.

Lets see, what else is on the internet that just astounds me...
Oh...
Well this astonished me in a good way.
I could watch it for hours!
I was very impressed as I watched it and it slowly dawned on me how complex the whole thing is. At first it just seems like a series of images, but then you realize it is made completely out of sounds from the movie and the images are all synchronized... Yes, I love it...
I also love the following Band/Song/Video.
My Device is the Shit.
Because I'm Bored and I Can. Thats Why.

Dreamz

Yes I am posting for the fourth time in one Day.
This would be why I NEEDED to have a blog in the first place, a lot goes on in this brain, and I feel the need to verbally vomit it all up all over the internet.
I have, the strangest fucking dreams...
Like, other people describe their dreams, and it makes me wonder what the fuck kind of psycho am I to be dreaming about that!?

It really makes me wonder, if everyone else is just saying that they have these really bland dreams to cover up for their demented dreamscapes, and I'm the only one being honest about where my psyche takes me in my sleep.
And I don't believe that all these people just "Can't Remember" their dreams... I can't imagine that, because I remember mine so vividly, I have to remind myself that it didn't happen.

Am I the only one who wonders this? Does everyone else secretly wonder if they are the only ones with some Crazy-Ass Dimension of Weirdness hidden in their sleeping minds while they give the old song and dance routine of "My dreams are boring" or "I don't remember my dreams."

Anyhow.
Psycho-Strange Dreams=Verbal Vomit.

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.

Like, Love, and Lust.

Okay so I was ranting to someone recently about the misconceptions people have about "Liking" someone and "Loving" someone.
Apparently some people believe that in order to "Like" someone means it has no "Lust" [aka hormones] involved.
Well Earth to People!
You cannot want to develop anything but a completely PLUTONIC [Read:just friends] relationship with someone unless there is LUST [hormones] involved. There has to be that PHYSICAL attraction as well, otherwise you are going to end up married to someone you don't want to have marital interactions with [SEX].
However, I think you SHOULD know someone before you decide to make with the Lovey Dovey shit...
Its is waaaaay easier to pull a relationship out of a friendship with some hormones added, than trying to pull together a relationship out of JUST hormones.
You have to have a certain amount of interest in a person, not just in their body, in order to build that AMAZING connection.
But you just don't wake up in the morning and Decide you're in Love. There are stages... Like the "I'm mildly interested in what this person is saying" Stage, and then the "OMG I NEED TO JUMP THEIR BONES" stage, and then the mix of the frist two which ends up being the "Lets get some coffee, fuck, and then have deep conversations in bed" stage, and finally "I really dig this guy/girl, LETS GET MARRIED" stage...
All of which is followed by a whole different set of degrees of Love... its the getting there part that I'm focusing on today though. (I feel the need to state, that no I do not believe sex before marriage is always right for people and actually I really respect people who wait for marriage, but DAMN its hard to resist.) Anyhow....

In short...
Hormones are a necessary part of a relationship, don't be scared of physical attraction, its natural, its normal, and you can't have Love without Lust.
Well... you can...
It would just be that "I love you like I love my mother" kind of thing...
And I think we can all agree that that would just be weird.

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.

My Mind Cartoonified.

Yeah, my friend introduced me to this amazing website...
The Greatest Shit to Hit The Interwebz
Its a bunch of cartoons(comics).
Only I swear to God someone is selling conversations I have with people and selling them to the creator of this fabulous webcomic.
I will admit, I don't get all of them, because some of them are very math based, and I'm not afraid to admit I'm not the world's greatest mathematician.
But for the most part, these speak to me, deep down, in that dark place where my soul resides.
And now... for my favorite pick of the bunch. Because I'm Bored and I Can. Thats Why.

Hello and Good Day

So I am making with the Postiness in my first blog.
I can't really tell you what to expect, because I could set you up with some false expectations, and then you would be left sorely disappointed and I would lose all my chances of having anybody ever reading the bullshit I am most likely to post.
Shit, I did it, now you know its all going to be random crap. Well, maybe it won't be...
Just don't expect any rhyme or reason to this madness that will be my blog.
I've never done this kinda thing before, y'know?
So its all new.
And just so you know, if you are actually somewhere in the world reading this, well, you have defied MY expectations of this just ending up as me pouring a load of time and effort I don't have to spare, into something no one will ever read.

Anyhow.
I guess I need a tag-line now...
You know, some sort of catch phrase...
Here we go...

Because I'm Bored and I can.
Thats Why.