Don't Worry, I'm Here to Suck Your Face, Not Your Veins!

I blame Anne Rice for today's Twilight mania.
I don't have anything against Anne Rice, I actually really dig her writing....
Well, some of it, after the first few books in the Vampire Chronicles, eh... but the Mayfair Witches are badass, and I adore Ramses the Damned... but I digress.

ITS ALL HER FRIGGING FAULT!

Unknowingly, she created a monster.
The Romanticized Vampire.
A creature who lusts after your throat and the artery contained within it, all the while tormented by their evil insides...
It started with Louis...
Always Whining Louis!
With his underage lover, vanity, and trying not to be evil by eating animals rather than people.
Sound Familiar.
Yeah Stephanie Meyer pretty much just copy and pasted Louis, changed the name, made him even more broody and less cool, and renamed him Edward.
But aside and apart from the obvious character copying, Anne Rice provided other aide to the Accursed Twilight Phenomena.
Buffy.
Thats right, our favorite, vampire slaying, vampire loving, heroine of the nineties.
Without Anne Rice Buffy would never have come about.
Buffy takes one instance from Interview with the Vampire, where Louis stalks Babette, and turns it into a love story between Buffy and her various Vampiric Paramours.
Angel stalked Buffy for forever, and guess what, it turned into true love.
Spike, also a stalker, did pretty much the same thing only to get used and abused.
I'm not raggin on Buffy though, I mean, If I could get vamps as hot as Spike and Angel, you would certainly never see me by light of day, if you catch my drift...

So this whole Twilight thing comes from Anne Rice.
Its all her fault, even though she never meant any harm by writing the most amazing vampire books ever... She didn't know that someday they would be tortured, and mutilated into some Preteen Wet Dream about vampire stalkers...
Who, by the way are emotionally abusive.
Edward completely isolates Bella from everyone she cares about her, classic red flag of an abusive personality. He then, leaves her, "for her own good" and then comes back so that she will love him even more, another classic trait of abusiveness. Edward chooses who Bella can be friends with, which are only his friends, tells her what she should and should not wear, as well as refuses to let her transport herself anywhere so that he "Knows she is safe" when really he just wants to know where she is 24/7. He watches her even in her sleep for crying out loud!
What a controlling Bastard!!!
This shit teaches women and girls, that its okay to let your man control everything in your life, its all fine and dandy as long as hes sucking your face instead of your veins...
Fucking Twilight...
Damn Anne Rice and her Awesomeness for allowing this!

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.