Friend Xing

Today has been brought to you by the letters "W" "T" "F" and the number "0"
As in "Wtf why am I getting zero action?!"
This is the sentence uttered by the multitudes of those who have been friend zoned.
And don't deny it, I know you have been there too, why? Because everyone has.
The person you pine for is amazing, definitely has their flaws, but you are enchanted with them anyways. You watch them repeatedly fall for people who treat them like crap, you listen to them complain about it, hoping that maybe someday they will realize how amazing you are, and THEY NEVER FREAKING DO!
I reiterate my Letters of the day...
WHAT THE FRIGGING FUCK?!?!
Are these people blind?
What bothers me the most about this, is what if while you have been friend zoned, are you unknowingly friend zoning someone else? Is it a vicious cycle? Or is it a conscious action of "Yeah that person is nice and all, but I only dig assholes/bitches." Its mind boggling, especially when you and your 'buddy' are comfortable enough to do the whole friendly flirting thing, that just allows yourself to fool yourself into thinking maybe it will eventually lead into more, and it never fucking does.
They aren't even leading you on, your leading yourself on, and you can't fucking stop.
Its like CANCER!
Only Universal!
Fucking Plague!
Endemic... no PANdemic!
World-wide Stupidity!
PERPETUAL MASTUBATION!
Thats all it leads to.
But lets attempt to take a proactive approach to this...
If we harnessed the power of the Friend Zone we could have endless energy, self perpetuating energy! It would be Green! As green with envy as you are over your friend's latest and greatest in the stream of jerks they date! It would burn clean because your pride, dignity, and self-esteem produce no emissions! Well, other than bitterness, self-pity, and emo-whinery shenanigans.... But those can be used to stimulate the Economy... Imagine the effect that the rise in booze, ice cream, junk food, gym memberships, and self-help book purchases would have! Fuck the friendzome has the potential to fix our nation, but due to its nasty little accomplices resignation and apathy, its benefits will never be known outside of the hypothetical... Much like your romantic relationship with whoever it is you whine and pine about on 4chan!

Because I'm Bored and I Can.
Thats Why.